Love this perspective. I’m working my with a leader on boundary setting as we speak. Their problem is based in a desire to keep her people happy and expressed by not turning anyone away even if it’s eating their calendar. But they’re learning that an “open door policy” doesn’t mean that the door is flood gates, rather that it’s a mindset that still can have structure and clarity (ie 15 min mtgs, bringing solutions, etc). I’ll be writing more about this soon.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Bill. What you described is a classic problem often related to the feminine / yin mindset. If we don’t make ourselves available to everyone, it’s not looked upon favorably and we get judged, somewhat harshly for it, as opposed to the masculine / yang mindset, which gets rewarded and viewed as important when they’re not available. I usually try to set the boundary or practice with it and then examine the fear that arises in me when I do. There are diverse fears and concerns that come up around limiting availability, and they almost always point to attachment experiences in early life, so this can have deep roots. I’m sure she is lucky to have you in her corner, supporting her around that.
I love this analysis and appreciate the pervasive gender dynamic at play here. I didn’t actually mean to disclose the leader’s gender - but now see it slipped in. But you nailed the situation as there is a male leader down the hall who doesn’t struggle with this.
If it makes you feel better, I would have guessed the gender with a fairly high confidence even if you didn't slip the clue in. ;) This is a classic female / yin challenge, one I've worked with myself. And speaking only for myself, "mastery" of this challenge has been resourced through working psychologically with limiting beliefs, getting my witness-consciousness online to reparent myself when fears and concerns come up around boundaries related to it, and through peri-menopausal hormone changes - meaning age and time. At this point, I practically require that people tell ME why THEY warrant my time rather than bending over backward to accommodate them. Tell your client the alternate universe is pretty liberating, once we get through the hard parts. But yes, it's a process AND a practice. Little experiments and working with the data you get back from your own system is really helpful.
Love this perspective. I’m working my with a leader on boundary setting as we speak. Their problem is based in a desire to keep her people happy and expressed by not turning anyone away even if it’s eating their calendar. But they’re learning that an “open door policy” doesn’t mean that the door is flood gates, rather that it’s a mindset that still can have structure and clarity (ie 15 min mtgs, bringing solutions, etc). I’ll be writing more about this soon.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Bill. What you described is a classic problem often related to the feminine / yin mindset. If we don’t make ourselves available to everyone, it’s not looked upon favorably and we get judged, somewhat harshly for it, as opposed to the masculine / yang mindset, which gets rewarded and viewed as important when they’re not available. I usually try to set the boundary or practice with it and then examine the fear that arises in me when I do. There are diverse fears and concerns that come up around limiting availability, and they almost always point to attachment experiences in early life, so this can have deep roots. I’m sure she is lucky to have you in her corner, supporting her around that.
I love this analysis and appreciate the pervasive gender dynamic at play here. I didn’t actually mean to disclose the leader’s gender - but now see it slipped in. But you nailed the situation as there is a male leader down the hall who doesn’t struggle with this.
If it makes you feel better, I would have guessed the gender with a fairly high confidence even if you didn't slip the clue in. ;) This is a classic female / yin challenge, one I've worked with myself. And speaking only for myself, "mastery" of this challenge has been resourced through working psychologically with limiting beliefs, getting my witness-consciousness online to reparent myself when fears and concerns come up around boundaries related to it, and through peri-menopausal hormone changes - meaning age and time. At this point, I practically require that people tell ME why THEY warrant my time rather than bending over backward to accommodate them. Tell your client the alternate universe is pretty liberating, once we get through the hard parts. But yes, it's a process AND a practice. Little experiments and working with the data you get back from your own system is really helpful.